Snake Oil
Icky Sexuality
A client of mine, who is also a Facebook friend, posted something recently. When I read it I literally had to restrain myself from commenting back. It’s likely that the post was from her conservative, right wing, religious husband whom she shares her Facebook account. It was one of those archaic, prejudiced, homophobic, but disguised as “moral,” posts that asked others to re-post if they agreed: “Marriage should be between one man and one woman only.” A sappy picture of a glowing ring accompanied this touching sentiment. I haven’t seen many of these types of posts in the last few years. We are on the brink of gay marriage becoming the law of the land here in the United States. When it becomes law in all fifty states (at this time it’s now legal in 37 states), God will not be angry, and it won’t collapse our civilization as many right-wing religious extremists have over the years threatened would happen. It won’t lead to the “slippery slope” theorists bizarre idea that people will marry their dogs and their siblings. It has been legal for over a decade in a number of states and many countries and it hasn’t destroyed heterosexual marriage in any way. One has to wonder why this inevitable shift in societies’ view of human sexuality and equal rights for all American’s has been and continues to be such a rocky road.
From both a practical and spiritual perspective there have and will always be four primary variations for human sexual expression. The same categories also apply to most animal species. People are either heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or asexual. For the most part sexual orientation is chosen at a Higher Self level before birth. Inevitably in our reincarnation cycles we will experience all of the variations in different lifetimes as part of our evolution and innate desire to experience the gifts and challenges each variation offers. Heterosexuality and bisexuality are the most common sexual expressions overall.
While bisexuality and homosexuality seems to be growing more commonplace in society, it only seems this way because it is becoming more socially acceptable to express oneself in either category. Bisexual people in different degrees have the ability to see physical attractiveness and fall in love with either gender. Heterosexual people are wired to be only attracted sexually to the opposite sex. Homosexuals are wired only toward and attraction to the same sex. This is somewhat akin to a lifetime of scholarly study with the focus of a desire to understand ones gender by not only being born in that body, but to be sexually drawn to the same sex. Asexual people choose not to find themselves drawn to sexual expression at all. While people do sometimes shift from one expression to another, this is more often than not, simply finally coming to terms with their true sexual identities. Many people spend years forcing themselves to experience sexual expression that they are not hard wired for. This is often due to religious, and cultural expectations, and internal or external shame about conforming to other’s expectations. Often after years of tremendously difficult struggle they eventually accept the sexual orientation they were meant to experience. Sadly some never come to terms with who they are and hide their identities or take their own lives.
There are three primary reasons for the confusion that acts as a blocking force behind people being fearful about comfortably expressing their true sexual identities. The first is the “icky” factor. When people lack emotional, spiritual, and intellectual maturity there is a tendency to find something that falls outside of their wiring or range to be distasteful and therefore “bad,” or “wrong.” This element of human response occurs in cultural, social, religious, economic, and many other areas in society. People often find those with different body types repulsive. Wealthy people sometimes perceive the poor as less than. Poor people sometimes see the wealthy as less spiritual. People in one race may hate another race. To a lesser extent, but also within groups that are often marginalized we see this practice as well. Dark skinned races sometimes feel being lighter skinned is better. In the gay community bisexual people are sometimes scorned and seen as simply “greedy.” The list of societal examples of what is “less desirable” are long. Historically, many people chose hiding their true sexual identities if they were not heterosexual simply because they were afraid others would find this distasteful.
An unfortunate and common theme that’s been a major component in our humanity and the sometimes lack of it, has always been the need to prop oneself, or the group you belong to, up by making others less than. A common practice in ancient Rome was to seize non-Roman people from other countries, and cites and use them as slaves. The marriages, families, and general value of these non-Romans were simply irrelevant because they were less than. Part of the pattern behind the belief that gay marriage is wrong and should be illegal was largely due to a similar type of logic. “Heterosexuality is the only way the species can procreate and is the one right way!” This logic of course is faulty, because this would eliminate heterosexual couples who choose, or can’t procreate as invalid. It also invalidates anyone past the child production stage from marriage. Yet, it’s interesting to observe how homosexual and bisexual people contribute in larger percentage than average in putting together nearly every aspect of marriage ceremonies. From wedding gown design, florists, wedding planners, hair dressers, photographers, make-up artists, clergy, service staff, bakers, jewelry design etc... the numbers of people that are not specifically heterosexual multiplies noticeably. Behind this has always been a belief that homosexuals are okay if they hide their “icky sexuality” and act as servants who are not able to participate themselves because they are less than.
The second culprit blocking people from expressing sexual identity has always been organized religion. In Christianity, Bible passages from the Old Testament that scorned same sex expression, considered “God’s words,” have given people over the ages an opportunity to demonize anyone outside their accepted expressions. Like all spiritual books, the Bible was written by men attempting to interpret spiritual truths. The passages written that suggest God hates non-heterosexual expression were written by men who believed it was icky, so God must think it’s icky. Literal interpretations of everything in the Bible would have us still believing slavery is good, women shouldn’t speak when men are speaking, women are property, divorce is punishable by death, and a host of other inane atrocities. Unquestionable literal interpretations of all Bible passages are not showing faith, rather they suggest a lack of understanding. The Bible has been edited, altered, and changed, many times over. Most Christians understand this and do not believe every word in the Bible to be unquestionable. It is the crazy ones on the far right who hold tightly to the idea that Biblical passages are word-for-word God’s words.
The third influence that makes alternative sexual expression wrong stems from a combination of the previous two. This includes crazy logic and theories that many cling to as factual. “If gays can marry what’s next, marrying your dog or your sister?” “Gays marriage will lead to polygamy.” “Gays molest children.” “Homosexual are always trying to convert our children to their way of life.” None of these or any other justifications are accurate in any way, and actually fall into the biblical category (Ten Commandments) of bearing false witness against your neighbor. The ones that scream the loudest about “perverse” behavior often project something from their shadow side. So hating gays is often hating a part of oneself, even if it is only a small part. An individual who is comfortable and secure in their sexual identity is not concerned about anyone else's.
Society is always changing and evolving, sometimes quickly, and sometimes slowly. The Aquarian Age we’re currently in is about brotherhood (and sisterhood) and accepting diversity. Most young people are no longer uncomfortable about this subject. Many explore each option themselves until they find a right fit. In this day and age, most people have friends, siblings, parents, children, teachers, co-workers and all kinds of people in their lives that are gay or bisexual. Another reason why more people are comfortable with sexual orientations other than their own now is because at one or more levels we all fall into categories that others don’t like or agree with. The ability to identify and care for other “underdogs” is growing stronger in more and more people. More people are beginning to see that the idea of someone who is asexual, homosexual, or bisexual must be lacking a moral code is actually propaganda from people who are simply lacking healthy empathy. Change can be scary to people who are stubborn (fear of change). But, change is inevitable and more often than not, a good thing. Gay marriage is often used as a scapegoat reason for why “marriage is failing.” My friend’s husband who posted the marriage post is probably a really nice guy. He, like many people that are still concerned about gay marriage, and “heterosexuality being the only right way,” simply needs to develop more empathy, maturity, and recognize “icky” is truly in the eyes of the beholder.
Jim V 3-2015
Editor s Note:
I remember when I was in middle school. I briefly went thru a period of being a bit afraid of people from other races, ages, or religions affiliations. I was a Catholic school boy in elementary school and a little sheltered. The confusion I had was more a fear of the unknown than necessarily specifically directed toward someone or something as “good” or “bad.” Racism, sexism, or any other “ism” never was a major part of the way I saw things though. By the time I reached 14 or 15 my way of viewing others different from me had changed. I could never understand why anyone would believe that someone different than you was “wrong.” It seemed like something that needed to be left behind with other childhood misperceptions. When I was about 20, learned about the Michael teachings and the concept of soul age. It became more clear and I really understood that I had lived many lives already as, male, female, black, Asian, rich, poor, gay, straight, etc... For most mature and older souls, there is an instinctive understanding of this (even if we don’t remember the other lifetimes consciously) which comes across as healthy empathy. For most mature and older souls it’s more of a “I didn’t really care what anyone else believes or does, especially when it doesn’t effect me! I did a radio show last month and talked about the subject of soul age. Check it out if you want to understand how the difference in soul age impacts the world and each of our lives. This may help in understanding about why so many “isms” and phobia’s are still so commonplace. I will be doing the second part of the “soul age” show this month.
I remember when I lived in NY. There used to be an expression: March comes in like a lion, and it goes out like a lamb.” Here in Phoenix it came in like a lion and it looks like it will go out like a lion. It was strangely warm here for most of the month. We often had 80s and even a few 90 degree days. Too warm too soon! I am not a fan of having to use my AC in April. I always want to hold out until May, but I broke early this year...
Spring is here! Wishing everyone a Happy April. Cheers, Jim V
“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” John Lennon
FaceBook post from early March of 2013. Similar trigger for March 2014. I know a lot of people, including myself that had some “buttons” pushed. We had some windy Santa Ana days here...
“The winds blew through Phoenix pretty harshly today. I found myself feeling uncomfortable and even a little angry in the last few days. Thankfully I knew what this was about and was able to move through what was I was struggling with and come to a place of peace. The winds have stopped and I feel so relaxed and at peace. I am glad I didn’t follow where my anger was taking me. Just another benefit of getting older and learning restraint!
Lakota Indian believed that the Santa Ana's, or Chinook winds as they are called in the east, were meant to remind us of self protection and the wisdom of change. They winds come from the four points in between Northeast, Southeast, etc...
“You are being asked to look at your safety and protection, to take steps to protect yourself from internal and external interference while keeping your self-esteem intact. Reinforce your strength and abilities, and deflect anything that diminishes your sense of higher purpose. As you open up and express your Higher Self, you open yourself to accelerated lessons and growth experiences. You may find yourself facing some difficult teachers among the people with whom you come in contact. You may find yourself confronting issues you’d prefer to keep quietly buried. We often encounter emotional manipulation when we have resisted letting go and moving forward or when we have missed opportunities to face a particular lesson.
Free yourself from the attitude that internalizes every situation and interaction. Remember that the people with whom you interact have their own challenges and driving forces. Be kind to yourself and be understanding of others. If it is time to remove yourself from a situation or relationship, do so. Ask for internal guidance. If there is no need to remain in an uncomfortable, unsupportive relationship, job, or circumstance, get out and move on to the next step.” From the Lakota Sweat Lodge cards.
*Readings with these cards can be very powerful. More information available on my website if interested.
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” Haruki Murakami
Spring Special for New Clients and return clients:
March 1st 2015 thru April 15th 2015 Special: New Client introductory offer
$15-20 off your first 45 minute session, 70, or 90 minute sessions! Ask for the special when you email Venturasag@yahoo.com to book. Debit and credit card payments get $15 off for 45-90 minute sessions. Local in-office clients can get an extra $5 off for cash or check payments for sessions.
$15-20 off your first 45 minute session, 70, or 90 minute sessions! Ask for the special when you email Venturasag@yahoo.com to book. Debit and credit card payments get $15 off for 45-90 minute sessions. Local in-office clients can get an extra $5 off for cash or check payments for sessions.
My current rates (new clients can subtract the above discounts from these rates): 45 minute sessions $80. 70 minute sessions $110. 90 minute sessions $130.
New Year special for January 1-April 15th, returning clients get $10 off of my listed rates (unless you are using another/better promotion or discount)!
“Children are happy because they don't have a file in their minds called "All the Things That Could Go Wrong.” Marianne Williamson
Channeled corner. I read many, many books from different trance channelers in the 80s and 90s. Unfortunately many of them are now out of print, but I still have a huge collection and will share some of the best material I have collected over the years.
From Michael’s People by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
“...Let us say there that chief feature (fear) can be very, very, very, very subtle about how it manipulates the perceptions of the fragment (individuals). Fear, as we have said many times before, is seductive. It can present the most appealing pictures to disguise the ‘dungeon’ that is the actuality of fear. Most fragments are not truly aware that fear is operating when chief feature is at work. Often chief feature represents itself as good sense and realistic understanding. Chief feature is adept at convincing fragments that essence contact and soul evolution is ‘bad for you,’ and presents itself as protection and support rather than ravening fear. It is most distorting when cloaked in religion, and we would wish to point out that most organized religion has great skill in turning chief feature to its advantage. ‘I cannot love that person because loving that person is immoral.’ I must not permit that person to interfere with my love affair with God.’ I must restrict how I relate to people so that sanctity is preserved.’ ‘I must not be like those people who do things that make me uncomfortable.’ I must not let others see the sins I have hidden in my soul.’ ‘This person is unacceptable because he or she is unclean/unacceptable/of another faith/of another culture/of an inappropriate group.’ These and many other convincing lies are presented as moral truths. The resultant morbid preoccupation with the forbidden, as well as the thrill of guilt, serves to enmesh the fragment more and more in the hold of chief feature. The chief feature has the added ‘advantage’ of never having to reveal itself as being the manifestation of fear. In most instances fragments caught up in this pattern will not be able to recognize and validate essence contact* except n the astral plane...”
*Essence contact is when we truly feel who we are without the distortion of fear. In simple terms it feels really, really, really good! Jim V
Snake Oil Radio
Thursdays at 3:30 pm (there will be two live broadcasts this month)
My next live broadcast of Snake Oil Radio will be Thursday, April 9th at 3:30 p.m. (MST -AZ doesn’t use daylight savings time) Most Thursdays you can catch a new show. Each 45 minute show will expand on my current column’s subject matter. It will also offer an opportunity for you to call in live (or chat with other listeners in the chat room) with comments and your thoughts about the topic of discussion. If you miss the live show, you can catch any of my previously recorded shows on the web site’s archive. You can also catch Snake Oil Radio on I-tunes (download my pod-casts there).
To hear a live show, all you need to do is be at a computer and tuned into: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Jim-Ventura You may also access it by going to blogtalkradio.com. Type “Snake Oil” into the search option.
You can also go to the shows that are currently “On air” at that time and find me. The call in number is 646-200-3966 for questions and comments.
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” Mark Twain
Here’s my contact information to make an appointment for a session, or information on current classes: Phone: (602)957-3035 text: (602)349-0746 Email: Venturasag@yahoo.com (best method for contact)
Information about the different sessions and types of readings and services, past Snake Oil columns, and how to order my books and audio CD’s can be found at my website: Http://JimVentura.com
“Friend” me on Facebook to get other extra offers and in between column extras! Signing up for my fan page will get you even more extras and first shot at reading specials. Simply click on “like” on the fan page and you will automatically get my weekly updates.
You also may want to check out my posts on Tumblr.com: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/snake-oil-blog
All sessions/readings for 2015 are: Full (70 minutes) $110.00; Shorter session (45 minutes) $80.00; Extended session (90 minutes) $130.00 (two people can split an extended session back to back for $65.00 each). Email me for information about my Regular Client Program for even bigger discounts on session prices with the added benefit of monthly or quarterly check-ins.
All Current Snake Oil subscribers get $5.00 off all listed prices for any 45-90 minute sessions (except when using a special discount promotion). Local in office visits receive another $5 off listed prices for cash or check payments.
