Snake Oil
Mirror Mirror (This column originally ran in early 2011)
A few weeks before the restaurant that I had spent the last two years working at closed, the owner went on a bit of a rant one day. It was another painfully slow Friday lunch where only he and I worked. He had confided in me that unless we suddenly got a lot busier or found some new financial backing he would have to close the restaurant permanently within the next few weeks. He was understandably angry and frustrated by the situation and needed to let off some stream, so I kept my mouth shut while he complained; “The people in Phoenix don’t appreciate excellent, quality food. They prefer mediocre crap. They’re going to be sorry when they find out we’re no longer here. Hell, they only show up once or twice a year to eat here. They see us as a special occasion spot, how are we supposed to survive if people don’t frequent the restaurant? Even with all the excellent reviews we’ve received they still aren’t coming. I think I might just pack it all up and get out of this stupid town once and for all.” While it’s never pleasant to let someone dump all their anger your way, I knew it wasn’t directed at me. I could see that he really just needed an ear. He wasn’t wrong in some respects. There was some truth in his words. We had amazing food and most people raved about it, but our numbers were not supporting the positive feedback we got. Still, something about the situation and listening to him made me uncomfortable. I knew that something was being triggered inside of me as a result of his rant. I was happy when a couple walked in for lunch. It was my job to take care of them and it got me out of the uncomfortable conversation.
This wasn’t the first time I had heard the “no one appreciates my excellence” story. I had heard it many times before. As an advertising art major in college, I heard all kinds of complaints about people “lacking in sophistication” and ability to recognize “true talent.” A few years ago, I attended a barbecue with an actor friend of mine. Most of the people at the barbecue were a few years younger than me. The majority of them were either actors, directors, or writers. In one form or another, all of them were connected with the performing arts. It was a cool, eclectic, attractive group of people. The food was actually quite good and it was an enjoyable party. The only thing that tainted the night was that a number of the people I talked to were frustrated about being broke. I heard stories from a few struggling artists about how, “most people didn’t appreciate real art and quality theater.” “It was near impossible to be successful in a town that doesn’t value good actors or pay them well for their skills.” “People mostly crave crappy Hollywood movies and television sewage, they don’t appreciate good writing and great acting.” I heard many of these and similar versions of this type of complaint a few too many times that night. There was an excess of “poor unappreciated me” stories, that tainted a night that could have been really fun.
So here I was again listening to a very likable, talented person complaining about “how stupid people were.” His anger was clearly masking how powerless he felt and that he might be failing in his endeavor. I didn’t say much to him that day, but I kept thinking about the endless suggestions I and a few of the other servers had made to him in the last year. We suggested he keep an advertising budget. He didn’t. We suggested he put ads in local gay publications to advertise the restaurant. Gay and Lesbians are tremendously loyal to businesses that advertise to them and typically don’t mind paying extra for quality. He ignored that suggestion. We suggested he do morning local talk shows and volunteer to cook recipes from the restaurant on air. He didn’t. We suggested he kiss the asses of the nearby hotel concierges so they send more of the guests staying in their hotels our way. He didn’t do that either. He followed the belief that since he had created something amazing, people would find their way to it. This worked to some extent. Some people found us, but most never even knew we existed. We were invisible in many ways. Our location and lack of visibility was a serious detriment to the restaurant’s potential success. If more people had been aware of us, I believe we would have been quite successful.
Even with his mistakes and stubbornness, the owner (who I considered a friend) was a man with guts, a gambler, and very intelligent. He often told some really funny stories, was far from ordinary, and was genuinely a likable guy. About a week before the restaurant closed I had a few days when I was feeling a little under the weather. I decided to hide from the world and rest for a few days. I caught some extra sleep and prioritized shaking off a slight cold. It was during the time of my retreat that I realized I was holding a similar set of beliefs. The reason the owners “people are stupid rant” bothered me so much was because he was mirroring many of my own limited beliefs. I had complained a number of times in a similar way about my own business. From time to time when my business got slow, and income was tighter I would complain; “People don’t appreciate the valuable work I do.” “Most people would rather read a stupid magazine’s Astrology column or follow Chelsea Handler’s dog’s twitter page, rather than read my far more insightful columns and books (Seriously, her dog has more than a million followers on Twitter).” “Many of my clients see me as a once a year at best or a special occasion visit.” “Most people just want to complain about the problems they are experiencing and do nothing to try and solve them.” “My books and all of my columns are equal to and often far better than many metaphysical authors, yet they would rather read crap.” “They don’t want to spend a little extra money to work with someone with real skill and talent.” “People aren’t interested in real insight - they prefer only spending $20.00 for quick shock readings at psychic fairs.” These and a few of my other rants were very similar in tone to what I heard from my friend that day. There were times when I have been frustrated by slow periods in my business or a lack of class attendance and book sales. I found myself thinking and sometimes tortured my friends with complaints like these when I ran into tight times.
What I realized during my retreat was most of the things I was suggesting to the owner (that he ignored) were really suggestions I was giving myself. I knew that many people appreciated my counseling work, classes, columns and books, but in many ways I have been invisible. I have rarely advertised. I haven’t sent my columns to other magazines or advertised my books at all in the last few years. How could people find out about my writing and other talents if they were never exposed to them? I had distanced myself from doing lectures and classes in local bookstores for the last few years. I was currently only reaching a small audience because I wasn’t putting myself out there to reach more people. Hiring a few publicists, doing more radio shows and getting my lazy ass out into the world in a larger way was what I really needed to do. People rarely magically show up at your door, they need to know you exist to find you. I continually remind my clients that we often react most strongly to people that mirror elements within us. They often exaggerate, sometimes in an almost cartoon-like way, the worst and best elements of ourselves. This can be hard to see, even for metaphysically evolved people, when the mirrors aren’t comfortable ones. I was guilty of playing “the struggling artist who isn’t appreciated” game. When we are frustrated or experiencing difficulties it’s easy to assign blame, complain, and criticize other peoples mistakes. The problem is this takes away from the positive, assertive use of creative energy and talents that we all have. There was another gift that came when my part time job ended. I uncovered a strong negative core belief that was limiting my success and could now weed it out once and for all.
2-2011 Jim Ventura
Editors Note:
It was an interesting trigger that pushed me to run this column again. I am currently working on a new column and knew it wouldn’t be finished in time for publication in February so when I went through my list of past columns and ran across this one. I knew it was time to share this, because it clearly illustrated how I (and many people) was thinking about money and success at that time. Now I see things (and experience them) completely differently. It was written in early 2011, right after the restaurant job I picked up during the recession closed it’s doors for good (like many businesses in the valley, he went bankrupt). I lost a significant chunk of income that I had for two years and knew I needed to do something to replace the loss. I contemplated getting another part-time job, but decided to make some shifts in my belief system instead. I did the work to clear out some of the negative limiting beliefs I was carrying about money, success, career and abundance. I had a number of “lightbulbs” that went off about the limited way I was seeing life. Tangible improvements began to show up in early 2012. By the beginning of 2013 I was very comfortable financially again (like I was before the recession) and this has continued uninterrupted for years now. In fact I have never been as successful as I am today. The reason I share this is to point out that we can change our reality. We are not locked into suffering or struggle, we can change our beliefs and our reality.
I clearly remember thinking the way I did in the column and carrying those beliefs. First I uncovered and released the negative limiting ideas about success I was carrying (there were quite a few), this then led to conscious decisions to boost my visibility and business. Quite a few opportunities just seemed to show up more easily after I did this work. My beliefs and the reality I experience now are very, very different. I get a steady stream of repeat and new business and opportunities come easily to me. Money, stability, and success are never things I worry about, they are a part of who I am!
I went out on a date recently with someone. There was definitely physical chemistry, but I heard the sadly too familiar “I don’t really believe in Astrology and any of that other metaphysical stuff:” of course this came out of the mouth of someone who is very much exactly like his astrology chart, and a bit of an emotional mess. And yes, I do look at Astrology and Numerology with people I am contemplating getting close too! I rolled my eyes and began to get bored and turned off quickly when these smug, close-minded comments were expressed in the guise of “how smart I am to not buy all that stuff...” Needless to say there won’t be another date. A belief in Astrology/Numerology or not believing in those things won’t change the influence of how Astrology acts as a part of who we are. The concept of what is “metaphysical” covers many different subjects. Not “believing” in it isn’t a sign of intelligence or wisdom, it is often stems from a lack of information. The same goes for not believing that your thoughts and beliefs create our reality. They still will, but you will simply live your life without realizing this. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! You can live life without delving into these subjects and be a reasonably happy, fulfilled person. But not understanding even in some ways that beliefs create our experience and how we see life seriously limits our creative options! And anyone who doesn’t recognize that developing intuitive abilities and using guidance from spirit and oracles like Tarot, Runes, Numerology, etc.. can be extremely valuable assistance is not an attribute that I personally find compatible for me in my friendships and partnerships.
I have been offering Reality Creating sessions to help my clients recognize and change their beliefs and to learn how to be more empowered. I highly recommend these sessions. You are not locked into struggle in any area of life unless you continue to choose to believe that you are! We change our beliefs and our reality all of the time, why not become more conscious of this ability, and learn how to do it more effectively? This month I am running a special for this session. More information about this later in this months newsletter.
Wishing everyone a happy February Cheers, Jim V
“Within each of us lies the power of our consent to health and sickness, to riches and poverty, to freedom and to slavery. It s we who control these, and not another.” Richard Bach
Channeled corner. I read many, many books from different trance channelers in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s. Unfortunately many of them are now out of print, but I still have a huge collection and will share some of the best material I have collected over the years.
Learn to enjoy Change
“In your society, you are born in an atmosphere of fear surrounding the experience of birth. Many, if not all of you, unconsciously use fear as a motivator in your life. You wait until situations become fearful-indeed, even make them fearful-in order to motivate yourselves to change. Now, it is a kind of addiction, and I would recommend that you become conscious of it. Then, as you experience the drama and struggle you create for yourselves, be conscious that you are choosing your reality and that you can choose to change and move without creating suffering and consequent fear to get you to do it.
We urge you then to be innocent about your desires for change and to remember that change on the planet, which is in constant motion, creating night and day, creating the seasons, is natural, so you need not wait until you have a great deal of fear motivating you to make change. You can consciously and innocently seek change, knowing that it does not need to create separation, hurt, and pain for others or for yourself when you do it consciously and innocently. Then you can let go of using fear as the motivator and instead use joy and aliveness as the motivator. Once you use fear to motivate you to action, feeling the fear in your body actually creates your feeling more alive, vitalized, and motivated to act.
So, because these are so wired from your early experiences when your parents told you, ‘you must do this or else,’ and you experienced fear and anger and then acted upon it, you think you have to have those emotions to get into motion. No! It is just your thought, based upon your past experience, that creates those connections. And you can easily begin to choose to act for joy and know it is innocent for you to be joyful without having to be angry or fearful.
Both men and women have come to believe that the physical has cycles of pleasure and pain. Often you use pain to get pleasure and then begin to fear pleasure because you think you will then have pain. How to get over that? Stop creating pain to get pleasure, and you will release the belief that once you have pleasure you must have pain. You will learn to surrender into greater and greater experiences of pleasure and life and joy on a regular basis. You cannot shift into a millennium of peace while holding the thought of the pleasure/pain cycle...”
Seth
“Did you know that you have so many fans in the unseen who love you so much, that you never dream alone, cry in vain, or sleep without guardians protecting you? No matter how things may appear.” Mike Dooley
Snake Oil Radio
Thursdays at 3:30 pm (there will be two live broadcasts this month)
My next live broadcast of Snake Oil Radio will be Thursday, February 4th. at 3:30 p.m. (AZ doesn’t use daylight savings time, so it’s the same as pacific time). Most Thursdays you can catch a new show. Each 45 minute show will expand on my current column’s subject matter. It will also offer an opportunity for you to call in live (or chat with other listeners in the chat room) with comments and your thoughts about the topic of discussion. If you miss the live show, you can catch any of my previously recorded shows on the web site’s archive. You can also catch Snake Oil Radio on I-tunes (download my pod-casts there).
To hear a live show, all you need to do is be at a computer and tuned into: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Jim-Ventura You may also access it by going to blogtalkradio.com. Type “Snake Oil” into the search option.
You can also go to the shows that are currently “On air” at that time and find me. The call in number is 646-200-3966 for questions and comments.
“Our greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising every time we fall.” Confucius
Spotlight on one of the unique sessions I offer:
REALITY CHANGE SESSIONS
Understand how our personal realities are formed, and develop the skill to change yours! Almost every area of your life can be changed for the better. This session will show you how to uncover the limiting beliefs that have blocked your progress. Instructions will be given in new methods and tools to create the present and future you truly want.
You can literally recreate yourself
Change your beliefs - Change your reality
All reality change sessions booked for February will be discounted $20 off my listed rates and available at these prices all month: 45 minute session $60, 70 minute session $90, 90 minute session $110 (also will honor an additional $5 off for cash or check payments to this discount price for February for local clients). I would recommend a 70-90 minute session for this, but still some benefits can be made in shorter session.
Here’s my contact information to make an appointment for a session, or information on current classes: Phone: (602)957-3035 text: (602)349-0746 Email: Venturasag@yahoo.com (best method for contact).
Information about the different sessions and types of readings and services, past Snake Oil columns, and how to order my books and audio CD’s can be found at my website: Http://JimVentura.com
“Friend” me on Facebook to get other extra offers and in between column extras! Signing up for my fan page will get you even more extras and first shot at reading specials. Simply click on “like” on the fan page and you will automatically get my weekly updates.
You also may want to check out my posts on Tumblr.com: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/snake-oil-blog
All sessions/readings for 2016 are: Full (70 minutes) $110.00; Shorter session (45 minutes) $80.00; Extended session (90 minutes) $130.00 (two people can split an extended session back to back for $65.00 each). Email me for information about my Regular Client Program for even bigger discounts on session prices with the added benefit of monthly or quarterly check-ins.
All Current Snake Oil subscribers get $5.00 off all listed prices for any 45-90 minute sessions (except when using a special discount promotion). Local in office visits receive another $5 off listed prices for cash or check payments.
