June 2013 Snake Oil/Jim Ventura
Snake Oil
The night my father died
Actually, the title of this essay isn’t entirely accurate because the recent death of my Father occurred in the morning. When I flew back home after his memorial service in North Carolina, I could not get the song, The Night Chicago Died by Paper Lace, out of my head. It must have been a combination of flying into Chicago on my connection flight and the line of the song: “I heard my Momma cry, I heard her pray the night Chicago died.” Songs get caught in my head at the oddest times, yet I know intuitively that they have some meaning or purpose for being there. The death of a parent is an inevitable reality for all of us. Not only do we all die, but it is especially common to experience the death of one’s father while we are still fairly young. This is partly because men tend to have shorter life spans than women do. My Mother frantically called one of my sisters with the news when Dad passed. She had just returned from Walmart with my father. He was sitting in the passenger seat and fell asleep in the car, which was very common place, so she didn’t try to wake him. She unloaded her packages, walked her dog, and came back a few minutes later to find Dad still sleeping. Only he wasn’t just sleeping. He had fallen asleep, had a heart attack and simply never woke up.
It was a mad scramble for all of my six siblings and their spouses and children to get to North Carolina on short notice for the funeral. Orchestrating this feat was quite the task; getting appointments moved around, purchasing flights, finding transportation, airport pick-ups, lodging, and a host of other details required some doing. As soon as all of it began, I decided it was a good time to pull a Viking Rune stone for guidance. I quieted my mind and asked the oracle for a message to help me maneuver through this difficult time. The Rune stone was Raido reversed: Journey, Union and Reunion. Loosely quoted from the book of Runes by Ralph Blum: “Expect ruptures in relationships. What you regard as detours, inconveniences, disruptions and even failures and deaths will actually be rerouting opportunities, with union and reunion as the only abiding destinations...” As usual, the Runes were not only incredibly accurate, but surprisingly comforting. I wondered, how do people who don’t have access to Oracles live life without them?
Not surprisingly, our flight ended up delayed six hours due to rain during our connection flight in Washington DC. Many flights were delayed so it was chaos at the airport. My sister and I probably drove my brother-in-law (who was supposed to pick us up at Charlotte airport) nuts right along with us, with constant changes to when we were going to arrive. In addition, we still had a four hour drive to Myrtle Beach, where my Mom and Dad’s house is, ahead of us from there. There were more than a few obstacles for all of us. Still, we all made it to mom’s by Monday so that we could attend the memorial mass at her church on Tuesday. Through all of the confusion, we also had some things that worked in our favor. For me, my business was slow that week, so it was a minimal juggle to get away at the time. My sister (who also lives in Phoenix) and I were able to get a really good price to get to Charlotte. Considering the short notice, we were shocked to find that our tickets were fairly reasonable. While there is never a good time for death, this started out being far less problematic than I would have imagined.
Two weeks before this happened was our yearly family reunion. We all stayed in a beach house that one of my sisters owns in Myrtle Beach and we had a great time, even though we all noticed the obvious fact that our seventy eight year old Father was not looking well. My normally big, fat, happy Italian Dad looked frail and quite sickly. He had a number of physical problems that were catching up with him. At that time I had, as I knew would be, my final talk with my Father. He told me he was having panic attacks and often felt like he couldn’t breath. He had been on oxygen for the last six years (due to asbestosis of the lungs) and even with that he was struggling. In the most diplomatic way I could say it, I told him: Dad, when its time to lay down and pass into spirit again, simply let yourself do it without struggling. You have done well in this life. Mom is taken care of financially, and all of your children are doing well. It is okay to go. A few months before this, my brother’s new wife gave birth to a baby boy that looked like a miniature version of my Father.
I knew that my family was not quite as comfortable as I was with public speaking, so I volunteered to speak at my Father’s memorial mass. I mentally wrote what I would say about my Father in my head for hours the night before his service. The traditional Catholic funeral mass my mother had set up was actually nicer than I expected. While traditional religious services are not for me, I could see how they could be a real comfort to the people who needed them. Friends and cousins I had not seen in many years showed up. Handling the intense emotions that arose was the most difficult part of our trip. I got choked up myself quite a few times. My emotional reactions were less about how sad I was that my Father was gone, and more about how touched I was by the tremendous level of kindness and caring demonstrated by everyone around us. The levels of human sensitivity and compassion we are capable of sharing, as a species, when crisis and the universal experience of death of a loved one occurs, is touching beyond words. While I was in the church, my heart was racing. I was a little nervous about saying some words about my Dad. This, combined with a very normal sense of grief, was actually a bit excruciating. But it seemed that there was one detour still ahead. I got snubbed at the church. The priest never asked me to come up and speak about my Dad.
We met for a memorial lunch at the clubhouse in the retirement village where my parents live right after the service. A number of the women in the complex prepared a buffet of food and drink that was phenomenal. My Mother had a built-in support group all around her. My opportunity to say a few words about my father was rerouted. I stood up after everyone ate and finally got to do what I am really good at. I mentioned how thankful all of us were that Mom had such amazing friends all around her for support. I thanked all of my extended family and everyone for being there for us. It was easy to say nice things about my Father. He was a friendly, kind, likable, chatty Gemini man whom everyone seemed to love. Many of my friends often told me how they wished they had a father like mine. Considering the difficulties with providing for a large family, he really was a great Dad. I pulled off an excellent speech about my Dad. I made my audience laugh a little and cry a little, the coup de grace for a writer and public speaker. A
number of his friends came up to tell me how touched they were by my speech and how much they missed and loved my Dad.
We only stayed for another day or so before we all went back home to our normal lives again. This second reunion, while sad, was also somewhat enjoyable. It was very similar to the reunion we had a few weeks before. Only this time I am guessing my Dad was there with us in spirit as opposed to the physical. We ate way too much, played Texas Hold-em with my niece and nephews and talked about our lives and how lucky we were to have Dad for as long as we did. In our American culture we often see it as a compliment to say “He/She had a good life.” There was no question that my Father had a good life. In ancient Rome, it was customary to say “May you have a good death.” My Father got to see his whole family together for the last time two weeks before he died. He sat at the head of our ridiculously large table of nineteen people at dinner in one of his favorite restaurants. For the last time he got to see the happy, healthy family he helped to create. He watched us laughing, eating, and enjoying each other’s company. He was already beginning to drift away from this world, but you could still see the pride in his eyes. He died in his sleep two weeks later. He not only had a good life, but also had a good death. What more can any of us ever ask for? The ultimate criteria, to me, of a successful life is simple; did you bring even a little more love into this world than was here before you got here? In my Dad’s case, the answer is - without a doubt - yes!
Jim Ventura 4-2008
Editors Note:
I figured that with Father’s Day ahead and because my father was also born on June 1st that it was time to rerun this story. I ran this piece originally in 2008. It’s hard to believe, but it was 5 years ago that my father passed back into spirit. I think this is a valuable essay to read for anyone who has lost a parent or who might be currently dealing with this issue. I have had many dreams about my father since his passing. I am sure that he has helped me with assistance from the Otherworld at times and especially when I was dealing with some difficult financial stuff a few years ago (like so many of my readers were...) when the hardships during the recession were at their worst in 2008-2011.
I think that the loss of my father hit me emotionally in a more painful way than his actual death did about four months after he actually passed. My dad wasn’t a wealthy man but he was comfortable financially when he retired because of wise investments with the market and because he received a good pension from the perseverance of over forty years in the same job. One of the things about my father that was awesome was that if you ever had some financial struggles, or any other type of practical difficulties dad would always give you his standard lecture about money and practicality, but then also loan you the money you needed (with a zero percent interest rate and no deadline on when to pay it back). Having that comfortable security blanket removed from my life just as the economy went bad, combined with losing a great father that always seemed to be proud of me was a difficult blow to absorb. When it hit me months later I felt less safe in this world. Yet, I also know that he found ways to assist from the Otherworld. My intuitive abilities and openness to messages from the other side have helped me to see that in some ways he never really completely left. We can all keep our connections to anyone we loved who has passed if we are willing and open to it!
I remind all of my readers that if you run across a particularly poignant Snake Oil and think that one of your friends and family members would really benefit from reading this, then pass it along! They can choose to sign up to receive my newsletter as well. My main purpose in writing my column is to enlighten, entertain, and open people up to seeing things in a deeper and more connected and purposeful way. I also appreciate my session clients and my readers who send referrals for personal sessions my way. I give referral credits out every six months to the clients who have referred people to me (who actually book a session). You don’t have to inform me that you sent someone my way though, I ask them about this when they book. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to tell others about my work.
Check out the Angel gift offer in this month’s newsletter. You can give a gift session with me to a friend (New clients only for this offer). You can choose an Astrological profile reading or Numerology/Tarot session. Remember the session can be given for either an in office or out-of-area by phone session. Because this is a significant discount I am offering only 12 (maximum of two per person) so get hold of me early in the month to get in on this offer before they run out!
“It isn’t by getting out of the world that we become enlightened, but by getting into the world...by getting so tuned in that we can ride the waves of our existence and never get tossed because we become the waves.” Ken Kesey
Angel Gift offer
Beginning on June 1st (or when you get this newsletter, the first 12 people who request purchasing the Angel Gift offer can buy one session, either 45 minute ($80) or full 70 minute ($110) and get one gift certificate for the same session to give to a friend or family member for $25.00!!
You can either use one session yourself and give one away or give both sessions as gifts. Please contact me at 602-957-3035 or Venturasag@yahoo.com to take advantage of this offer. The promotion ends on June 30th 2013 or when all 12 gift certificates are sold out. A session for a teenager or other young person can be tremendously powerful in helping them to understand their unique talents and gifts through Astrology, Numerology and Animal totems. But anyone at any age can benefit by having a session. Be an Angel to someone you love!
Snake Oil Radio
Thursdays at 3:30 pm (there will be three live broadcasts this month)
My next live broadcast of Snake Oil Radio will be Thursday, June 6th, at 3:30 p.m. (MST -AZ doesn’t use daylight savings time). Almost every Thursday you can catch a new show. Each 45 minute show will expand on my current column’s subject matter. It will also offer an opportunity for you to call in live (or chat with other listeners in the chat room) with comments and your thoughts about the topic of discussion. Halfway through some of the shows you can even ask me for a free 5 minute mini reading with your personal question. If you miss the live show, you can catch any of my previously recorded shows on the web site’s archive. You can also catch Snake Oil Radio on I-tunes (download my pod-casts there).
All you need to do is be at a computer and tuned into: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Jim-Ventura You may also access it by going to blogtalkradio.com. Type “Snake Oil” into the search option.
You can also go to the shows that are currently “On air” at that time and find me. The call in number is 646-200-3966 for questions and comments.
Join me on June 13th for my interview with Alaric Hutchinson:
Rev. Alaric Hutchinson is the owner of Earth Spirit Center for Healing and founding pastor of Earth Spirit Church. In the summer of 2010 he opened the doors of his holistic healing center which became a hub for the spiritual-minded to gather. By the fall of 2011, an interfaith community blossomed and it has been expanding ever since.
Alaric's philosophy is broken down into two primary points of focus. 1) Embodying Peace, and 2) Transcending Duality. He had visions since childhood of sanctuaries where people of any background may attend and seek peace without judgment or strings attached. Those visions have become the essence of what ESC is today.
In present time, Alaric's first book, Living Peace, is in the publishing processes and will soon be released. Weekly he meets with clients for healing and teaches students at ESC how to create and maintain peace within their lives. Every Wednesday night Alaric and his students host a Healing Circle open to the public from 7:00-8:30pm and every Sunday they host a Community Celebration Service from 11:00am-12:00pm.
For more information you may visit the center's website at:
Or add Alaric on Facebook for daily inspirations:
Rev. Alaric Kyle Hutchinson
Earth Spirit Center for Healing
25251 S Power Rd.
Queen Creek, AZ 85142
480.639.5275
“I didn’t have to go all the way to India for spiritual enlightenment. The blue-collar spirituality of everyday life was right in front of me, it was in every nook and cranny if I wanted to seek it, but I had chosen to ignore it.” Anthony Kiedis
Client testimonials and Reviews
Jim Ventura has been my Navigational Consultant for well over 10 years. He has given me insight, confirmation and guidance with my personal life as well as my work life, which has been a major contribution to my success and personal growth in this lifetime. C.P. Queen Creek AZ
Jim has been so beneficial in my personal growth. I have consulted him for several years and his work with me has helped me identify my “chief feature”, which has been feeling unworthy. Through consultations and readings, Jim has helped me change my perspective of things that have come up in my life. I’ve learned that there is value in every phase of our life, no matter how off kilter things may seem at the time. I plan to continue my personal growth through working with Jim and would highly recommend him to anyone. S.B. Mesa AZ
I have had several readings done over the years by Jim in his office as well as over the phone; I have been extremely impressed at he quality of his insight and the value of his advice. Plus, he is a heck of a nice guy! If you are interested in getting information from the metaphysical world, Jim is your man. He is very ethical and takes his gift seriously, unlike so many others in this field, AlI I can say is Go For It! M.B. Texas
Here’s my contact information to make an appointment for a session, or information on current classes: Phone: (602) 957-3035 text: 602-349-0746 Email: Venturasag@yahoo.com
Information about the different sessions and types of readings and services, past Snake Oil columns, and how to order my books and audio CD’s can be found at my website: Http://JimVentura.com
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All sessions/readings for 2013 are: Full (70 minutes) $110.00; Shorter session (45 minutes) $80.00; Extended session (90 minutes) $130.00 (two people can split an extended session back to back for $65.00 each).
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