Snake Oil
Losing Mom
I remember when I was in the fourth grade something significant occurred for the first time in my life. I dutifully sat in class with my fellow students all dressed in the same uniform in my elementary Catholic school. Each of us were uncomfortable with the lack of ability to express our individuality through clothing choices yet oddly comfortable at the same time because we didn’t have to make any actual choices. The Principle, a cartoon, cliche version of a cold disciplined nun sent for one of our fellow students and interrupted class one day. The young girl looked terrified like any of us would when called to the office. It wasn’t a look of fear that she had done something “bad.” It was a panic fear I had never seen before as she scurried out. Our teacher quickly suppressed the nervous chatter among the students as theories about why Katherine was being pulled out of class began to spread. A few days later I saw Katherine profusely weeping as she gathered her belongings and left school to attend her mother’s funeral.
This was one of the first times the death-of-a-parent as a reality had come so close to me for contemplation. I felt for the poor girl while at the same time it made me grateful that it wasn’t my mother. I never found out what ended Katherine’s mom’s life but as I got older and began to interact with many different people and my world expanded I ran across people who had also lost a mother or father. I didn’t actually fear losing my mother. She was tough as nails and often as cold. She was a strong German woman, rigidly religious, Republican, and definitely had many of the best and worst aspects of an Aries. It would be no easy task for the universe to take my mother away and she ultimately ended up outliving all of her siblings and parents and made it to a little over 86 years when she left this world this past summer.
My dad passed eleven years ago and was married to my mother for 57 years before he left this world. He was a very different from my mother and so was his death. He was friendly, generous, chatty, self-deprecating, and lovable. He died quickly when he fell asleep and had a heart attack. My mother was always strong and even when dad passed stayed that way. Her health and mental state began to slide though about two years ago. She stayed in her home in North Carolina obstinately even when the residents were told to evacuate (Myrtle Beach) because of a massive hurricane coming her way. Her house and she survived that storm, but she fell and had a stroke when she slipped in her kitchen. She did thankfully recover but began to decline rapidly both mentally and physically. I thought when that storm came that there was a possibility mom would pass with the collapse of her roof or some other catastrophe fighting the elements. There was a probability where she would leave this world fighting to protect her home and the little, overprotective, and kind of vicious rescue dog she so dearly loved in true heroic Aries style. In old soul understanding by seeing the larger picture it might have been far better had she exited this way because things did not get better after the storm.
I have two sisters and brothers that live in the same state as mom. They thankfully stepped up in so many ways to handle mom’s demise and my other siblings and I were truly grateful for their sacrifice. The ups and downs, mostly downs of my mother’s two year decline were difficult. The first having to get her an in-home nurse so she could stay comfortably in her own home. This was expensive and after seven months came to an end, mainly because nurses kept quitting over “how difficult our mother was.” I won’t elaborate but I didn’t blame the nurses, mom had a mean side. Then the ordeal of getting her into a nursing home followed. My sister and the executer of Dad’s will after months of struggle found a really nice and also extremely expensive place which my mother referred to as that “rat hole where my daughters dumped me.” In the early part of 2019 her mental breakdown equalled her physical limitations (she couldn’t even get out of bed for the most part) and severe dementia set in. The last time I spoke to my mother was in early 2019 by phone. I cried when I put down the phone knowing it was the last time I would ever speak to her again in this life. My awareness of her impending death both practically and intuitively was telling me that she would be leaving this world very soon. The nursing staff suggested we call less because it would be damaging to her. Fortunately my oldest brother who lives twenty minutes away visited her often to just sit by the bed while she complained during her few conscious and lucid moments.
There were a number of conflicting emotions during the months after mom passing that I needed to process; relief, sadness, frustration, and love. My mother was often emotionally cold, and she left huge scars on me and my siblings. We often questioned whether we were loved by her. My mother followed her religion and politics with strict unquestioning devotion. She dutifully followed the rules and values of her parents and what she was taught was “right” which is typical behavior for Baby souls* I think part of mom’s dementia and her body’s breakdown (in addition to being a physical reality in this world) was a resistance to the death process itself and her fears that were never resolved. While mom dutifully believed in heaven and hell she was taught to never doubt or question the “rules.” Like all human beings we at times doubt and question. Further damage can be inflicted when we are taught that this process is sinful or wrong. One of many instances that illustrated this was I remember my mother proclaiming often that she hated Paul Simon (the musician). Every time he came on the radio, especially when the song ‘Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover’ played she would quickly change the station. Even at the age of eleven my old soul awareness was peeking through and I thought she hates this song because she actually does think about leaving at times. Geez who wouldn’t? Giving birth and taking care of seven children, a ton of responsibilities, and her beauty rapidly fading (mom was quite beautiful in her youth with blonde hair, a full figure and blue German eyes) would take its toll on anyone. She did what she was supposed to do; have kids, be faithful to her mate, go to church, etc... We all question and maybe even regret the choices we make or don’t make at times, yet Catholicism teaches that if you even think a sinful thought you have committed a sin. Who can realistically handle all of that pressure? Mom did a few questionable things (the ones I know about) along the way. My guess is that she wondered fearfully if maybe Heaven wasn’t definitely her destination...
I have been feeding seven feral cats that live in my condominium complex for about a decade now. The mother of the six kittens that are now grown up and around ten years old would often run out to greet me when I pulled up my car in my covered spot. She hung out with only one of her “kids” in the back of our complex. She was a good caring mother and appropriately devoted when her children were kittens. As soon as they became adults she had little use for them. She would even swipe at them if they came near her. Like one or two of the feral cats she wouldn’t let me ever touch her but she would always show her appreciation for the food and attention I gave her. She would roll around in the gravel and purr when she saw me. She was mostly bitchy to everyone but not so much to me. I loved that beautiful cat. A few weeks before my mother passed and the momma cat having reached the age of 11-12 (a long life for an outside feral statistically) she was nowhere to be found. I sadly suspected she had passed back into the spirit world. As soon as this happened I definitely knew my Mom would pass, she was this cat!
The potential ordeal of a dying parent or parents will be an issue for all of us at some time in our lives. It is rarely an easy process. In the last few months my anger, hurt, and feelings that mom didn’t love me or my siblings began to fade. I realized she did really love us in her own way. She just had a really difficult time showing it. The sadness over the loss began to fade too. I remembered good stories from my childhood. In elementary school I would ride my bike home for lunch and mom would make me macaroni and cheese. I thought about how we lived in a comfortable home with great music often playing. How mom and dad would pack all seven of us into the Delta 88 every summer for our summer vacation, no matter what. I remembered a time when mom followed a recipe out of Good Housekeeping magazine to make home made clay. My sister and brother made all kinds of fun sculptures that day. We always had a hot meal at dinner and all sat around the table dutifully and often got together in other ways as a family. My childhood may not have been perfect and had its share of limitations and hurts, but it was a good one. The primary elements of mom’s love may have been questionable but mom and dad’s creation of the family, that we were a part of, had us firmly rooted in the same house and neighborhood our entire childhood. I had lots of friends, security, dogs, and in many ways what others might see as a dream childhood. In spite of mom’s fear of what would come next, I know that mom transitioned to the Other World and was met by dad, her parents, siblings and most importantly by the many dogs that she so dearly loved in this lifetime. I hope my mother is at peace now, I know I am. She deserves credit for many things and I appreciate her and will truly miss her.
1-2020 Jim Ventura
*Baby Souls:
“There are five stages of soul evolution on the physical plane. After at least 7 lifetimes as an Infant soul (not related to chronological age) and learning lessons about survival, now a little experience on the earth, more sophistication and less fear are found in the individual, though the world is still experienced as a scary place. Survival has been worked out; this is a time to get civilized and be proud of it, a time of demonstrating you can do it right.
Structure helps Baby Souls to feel comfortable in the world. They want to be directed and therefore seek out higher authorities who are willing to lay out clear rules for them. As a small example of this, they would rarely defend their child to the school principal, but push to make the child act acceptably to the teachers and administration. Sometimes a Baby Soul will seek out - even again and again - discipline from the prison system as a way to civilize himself. This soul age will hold traditional religious leaders in esteem, turn doctors into gods, and likely feel their country, their army, and certain politicians, can do no wrong.
Traditions, rituals, and law and order provide a welcome sense of security. "That's the rule and that's what we'll do," is typical thinking . They make sure your car is not parked in front of their house and that their lawn is mowed and sprinkled. In a dogmatic, black-and-white way, they know right from wrong. Usually conscientiously good citizens, they can be counted on to do the "right" thing. This is also the soul age with the greatest propensity to long-term grudge holding.
The Ku Klux Klan would be a Baby Soul organization in a negative pole, while many service organizations like the Knights of Columbus or the Rotary Club would be in a more positive pole of expression. Anti-abortion right-to-life organizations, school prayer promoters, and fire-and-brimstone preachers all tend to emerge out of Baby Soul consciousness and concerns.
Preferring to be big fish in small ponds, Baby Souls are often found in small communities. Though the United States is primarily a late-Young early-Mature Soul country, middle America between the two coasts is packed with Baby Souls who prefer life when it is a little simpler. They often emerge as pillars of the community, staunch, upright and unshakable in their beliefs. They become mayor or sheriff, president of the town council or PTA. Because they are interested in organizing and developing the fabric of society with laws, regulations and lines of authority, they are often found in governmental bureaucracies such as schools, hospitals, regulating agencies and so on. When their beliefs are opposed, Baby Souls may become inwardly bewildered. Baby Souls are so sure they are right that they have difficulty comprehending opposition. This is not a self-reflective phase.
They are very interested, if not obsessive, about cleanliness, neatness, and keeping germs at bay. Not yet able to perceive that chronic feelings or attitudes may cause physical and psychological problems, their emotional difficulties are, in fact, often somaticized so that angry feelings become gallstones, or fear turns into kidney, bladder or back trouble.
When dealing with physical problems like these, Baby Souls ordinarily prefer conventional medicine, medications and surgery. Considering alternative therapies or looking for the root of the problem doesn't make sense to their way of approaching the body. With the exception of the new popularity of healing within charismatic churches, this soul age is sold on orthodox medicine.
Around sexual matters, there is uneasiness and some degree of shame or guilt. This is not a time for hot tub entertaining, but hiding bodies, making love in the dark - probably with pajamas and without great sensuality.
Families, however, feel very good during this period. Raising children (maybe lots), seeing relatives, celebrating holidays, going on family outings and participating in church rituals all make a person feel a solid upstanding part of the community.
Baby Souls sometimes come into prominence. They don't often look for a big stage, not having the resourcefulness or experience to handle it well, but they may gather fame for their unyielding political or religious beliefs. Jerry Falwell is a prominent religious leader with Baby Soul beliefs; Oral Roberts and Jimmy Swaggart, two others. Idi Amin, Hitler, Khomeini, and, in the United States, Richard Nixon, Evan Mecham, Jesse Helms and some of our more rigidly conservative Governors, Congressmen and Senators are examples of Baby Souls putting out their world views on a larger scale. Pat Boone is one of the few Baby Souls peopling the entertainment business.”
There are five stages of soul evolution: Infant, Baby, Young, mature, and old. You can learn more about this if interested by checking out the classes I teach (on my website) about the Michael teachings.
Notes
It took many months for me to get to writing about the death of my mother. She actually passed back in mid August of 2019. I needed some time to process some of the conflicting feelings about how I felt about all of it. There were also a few challenges that were connected to my siblings and the settling of Mom’s estate. Astrology teaches that the realm of the 8th house (I had Jupiter transiting at the time) contains, among other things, the experiences of inheritance, shared resources, death, and the power struggles that often surface in connection to these aspects of life. While there were notably some challenges and upsets in the family along the way in the overall picture things were minimally toxic. This is something I am grateful for. We were blessed with mom having had some money to take care of the expensive bills, and there was even a bit left over for some inheritance stock for me and my siblings. While far from a huge amount it has made things a bit easier for all of us with some back-up options if ever needed. The added sense of security makes me understand why I had the Four of Pentacles surface in my Tarot reading a few months before. The very process has helped me to further understand the mostly positive meaning of this card.
While my mailing list has continued to grow over the years, I have noticed over the last few years that the number of people who actually click on the link to read it has decreased. On average only about fifteen percent seem to be reading it at all. We live in an age where people simply don’t read as much, are busy, or simply have short attention spans. I don’t take this personally but it is triggering me to make some changes. It is quite a bit of work to do this column monthly so I am moving to an every other month format for 2020, or about six times a year. This will give me more free time in other ways for creative projects. One of those projects is the launching my YouTube channel and I will do that about once a month with short 5-10 minute videos about all kinds of subjects. I will also continue to do the radio show as well about once a month. I have been doing more television and it is highly probable that even more opportunities will come my way. It seems the visual media format in a number of areas seems to be the right direction for me to go in the new decade. You can copy and past the link to follow me on YouTube if interested in subscribing to my channel.
(copy and paste this one to subscribe to my YouTube channel)
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6rpfSsKAVn1hV4xw2rsxQQ?view_as=subscriber
While I am in a good place financially (my Regular Clients in the program know what I was working on successfully manifesting in the last three years...) I am going to slightly raise my rates this year. Like every other American the cost of my phone bill, cable, HOA fees, electric, and everything seems to go up every year. The only thing that hasn’t in the last seven years is my rates. Starting in February there will be a minimal $5 increase on all 45, 70, and 90 minute sessions. This will not effect my current Regular Clients in the program. That said, if you have not stayed current on quarterly, every other month, or monthly regular sessions you are no longer in my Regular Client program. It’s a bit like joining a gym but never actually going to the gym, there is purpose and benefit in consistency. The good news is previous Regular Clients who were in the program for two years or more will be able to take advantage of a $10 discount (and another $5 discount for cash or check payments if you choose) off my current listed rates for having participated in the program. You will have to contact and talk to me about reinstating your place in the Regular Client program if interested in the many benefits and notable discounts that are part of the program. You can also contact me if you haven’t been in it before and would like to join.
I am also switching to a four day work week with options for session and classes. Generally it will be Tuesday, Wednesdays, Friday, and Saturday options. There may be an occasional Sunday, Monday, or Thursday option offered especially if I have taken time off for vacation during that month.
The winter has been a cold one even here in Phoenix. I have been appropriately hibernating more than usual like a bear, sleeping like 9-10 hours a day counting one or two naps each day. I have enjoyed it immensely but really looking foreword to the warmer weather and the spring! My fire sign Sun sign feels lazy and getting ready to birth some action again. Wishing everyone a happy new Decade ahead. Here’s to the possibilities of the “roaring twenties!” Cheers, Jim V
“ A man never sees all that his mother has been to him until it’s too late to let her know he sees it.” William Howells
“Of all the gifts that life has to offer, loving parents is the greatest of them all. I miss you Mom and Dad. No matter where I wish you were by my side now.” Unknown
Channeled corner. I read many, many books from different trance channelers in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s. Unfortunately many of them are now out of print, but I still have a huge collection and will share some of the best material I have collected over the years.
When communication works
“Once the barriers are down, once the blocks are removed or at least mapped out, what can communication be?
Communication is an integral part of the fundamental nature of the universe. Like love, like consciousness, like creativity, and like intention, communication is a natural, inalienable quality of all living things. Communication, in short, is natural.
In the many, many worlds that make up this universe, from the realities of ants to those of the inhabitants of other stars, from the intimacy of one human soul to others on the same planet, communication is the power that binds us together, that enriches and heals, that enlivens and lightens, that allows magic to be created and magic to be exchanged.
The first thing you need for communication to exist is to accept that it can. This may seem an elementary idea, and it is, but its applications are quite practical.
If you don’t think a tree is worth talking to, you won’t bother to ask it anything-or to try to learn to listen to it when it does speak. If you’ve already given up on getting any sense from your rebellious teenage son, then anything you try to say, or attempt at listening, is probably doomed from the start.
If you’ve decided that all women, men, children, mystics, rednecks, and-fill in the blank-are dumb, lazy, dishonest, deluded, vicious, and-fill in the blank-then you will never have communication with the person in front of you. You will only communicate to yourself your notions about what that person is. The reality of what that person is and the fantasy your mind can hold can be so divergent that you hardly seem to be in the same room...
Obehon Spirit Speaks magazine May 1995
“Home is not where you live but where they understand you.” Christian Morgenstern
New Client Special 2020:
January 1st 2019 thru May 1st, 2020 Special: New Client introductory offer:
$10-15 off listed rates for your first 45 minute session, 70, or 90 minute session! Ask for the special when you email at Venturasag@yahoo.com to book. Debit and credit card payments get $10 off for 45-90 minute sessions. Local in-office clients can get an extra $5 off for cash or check payments for sessions. If you want to buy a new client a thoughtful gift of a session you can also take advantage of these rates!
$10-15 off listed rates for your first 45 minute session, 70, or 90 minute session! Ask for the special when you email at Venturasag@yahoo.com to book. Debit and credit card payments get $10 off for 45-90 minute sessions. Local in-office clients can get an extra $5 off for cash or check payments for sessions. If you want to buy a new client a thoughtful gift of a session you can also take advantage of these rates!
My current rates (new clients can subtract the above discounts from these rates): 45 minute sessions $90. 70 minute sessions $115. 90 minute sessions $135. Sessions can be in-office or by phone.
“What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t even happened yet.” Anne Frank
Snake Oil Radio
Thursdays at 3:30 pm (there will be two live broadcast this period)
My next live broadcast of Snake Oil Radio will be Thursday, February 13th. at 3:30 p.m. mountain time. Usually one or two Thursdays each month you can catch a new show. Each 45 minute show will expand on my current column’s subject matter. It will also offer an opportunity for you to chat with other listeners in the chat room with comments and your thoughts about the topic of discussion. If you miss the live show, you can catch any of my previously recorded shows on the web site’s archive. You can also catch Snake Oil Radio on I-tunes (download my pod-casts there).
To hear a live show, all you need to do is be at a computer and tuned into: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Jim-Ventura You may also access it by going to the site and type “Snake Oil” into the search option. You can also go to the shows that are currently “On air” at that time and find me. The call in number is 646-200-3966 for questions and comments.
“Take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing. Believe in yourself. And believe that there is a loving source - a sower of Dreams - just waiting to be asked to help you make your dreams come true.” Sarah Breathnach
Here’s my contact information to make an appointment for a session, or information on current classes: Email: Venturasag@yahoo.com (best method for contact).
Phone calls: (602) 957-3035 text only: (602) 349-0746
Information about the different sessions and types of readings and services, past Snake Oil columns, and how to order my books and audio CD’s can be found at my website: Http://JimVentura.com
“Friend” me on Facebook to get other extra offers and in between column extras! Signing up for my fan page will get you even more extras and first shot at reading specials. Simply click on “like” on the fan page and you will automatically get my weekly updates.
You also may want to check out my posts on Tumblr.com: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/snake-oil-blog
All sessions/readings for 2020-21 are: Full (70 minutes) $115.00; Shorter session (45 minutes) $90.00; Extended session (90 minutes) $135.00 (two people can split an extended session back to back with an added fee of $5 for $70.00 each, although no other discounts will apply). Mini phone session 20 minutes $40. Email me for information about my Regular Client Program for even bigger discounts on session prices with the added benefit of monthly or quarterly check-ins. Purchasing 3 pre-paid sessions also brings sizable discounts (example 3 pre-paid 45 minute sessions is $150 total or $50 a session...)
