Thursday, November 28, 2013

December 2013 Snake Oil

Snake Oil
Christmas gifts in the attic

The magical window of my childhood belief in a Santa Claus was only a brief one. Even as far back as five years old, I remember wondering how it was possible for all of the department stores and malls to have Santa Claus at their specific location at the very same time. I couldn’t imagine how one man, even if he had an army of supposed helper elves, could possibly deliver presents to children all over the world in one night. I also noticed how my wealthier friends often got more expensive gifts than our family did. Why did the poor kids end up with nothing at all? Was Santa only catering to the wealthy? Santa was supposed to come down your chimney and leave you your Christmas gifts. We had no fireplace in our house at all, yet we still got presents. And even if we did have a a chimney, how could such a lard-ass fit down one in the first place? These and similar thoughts started extremely early for me, and I wondered why other kids bought all of this malarky.
The observation that nailed the door closed on idealistic fantasies about Santa Claus and solidified my realist-cynic approach to Christmas was because my parents were not very good at hiding our presents. I would often see many of our gifts unwrapped at the bottom of Mom’s closet, or in the attic. I also saw Easter candy long before the “bunny” arrived, so that illusion was blown early as well. When I was six years old I remember being awoken on Christmas eve by the sound of the attic stairs opening. My father built the pull down stairs to our attic facing the bedroom my brother and I shared. He had to open the door to our room to get up into the attic. I clearly heard my mother’s and father’s clumsy attempts at putting out our presents most years. They were often punctuated by their usual irritation with each other. “Frank don’t forget the ones for Kathy.” “Hurry it up, I want to get to bed already.” “ What are you trying to do, break my arms.” “Wait for me to put these down first!” I would have had to have been a complete imbecile to still buy the magic fat man story after all of these theatrics.
Many of my dopey friends still believed in Santa Claus. Apparently they were not “blessed” with the mind of a detective and happily enjoyed their delusions. I found myself feeling it was my duty to burst their bubbles early on. When I told them the truth they would often disagree at first and be mad at me. Eventually they would realize I was right. Still, I often reminded them that it would be wise to play along with the charade. The benefits of pretending to believe in all of the Christmas crapola were numerous. A good, sweet, oblivious child performance could bring tremendous rewards. I had no issue with pretending to be a dumb, naive little kid for adults and I made sure my friends were smart enough to do the very same thing.
While my parents didn’t do an ideal job of giving us the illusions of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny when it came to the holidays, they did a great job in other ways. While a lot of the presents Mom (Santa) bought us were mediocre, lame stuff from church bizarres and clearance sales and not what we really wanted, she put in some real effort. She had seven children and that was a lot of presents to buy. She always got us at least one or two things that were on our Christmas lists. Opening our presents on Christmas morning was always really fun. Even when I knew what half of the gifts already were because I saw them or snooped around, I always enjoyed the process of opening the presents just the same. The excitement of opening gifts was really exciting and my parents made a point to make sure we had the experience.
We had some wonderful Christmas traditions we always followed. For many years we got a real tree (until I was about 17 when they finally opted for a fake one). We baked cookies and decorated the house, and some years we made gingerbread houses. We decorated our tree together weeks before actual Christmas. We sometimes made Christmas ornaments and even strung popcorn. We hung lights outside, listened to Christmas albums, watched Christmas specials like Mr. Magoo’s Christmas, A Year Without a Santa Claus, and A Christmas Story. We did Christmas up in a big way every year. There are still boxes of Christmas pictures and hundreds of great memories and funny stories associated with all of them. December was a really cold time in New York, but we had warm traditions in our home. 
While I missed out on believing in Santa Claus and many of the other holiday illusions, I got to experience elements of family and holidays that really mattered. The cohesiveness of a family and celebrated traditions were priceless. We learned about giving and receiving and developed a healthy sense of the importance of all of it. When I was a kid, and even into my teen years, I would often get up in the middle of the night and look at the presents under the tree (the Christmas eve gifts we bought for each other were often wrapped and left out weeks before). Some nights I would clear a space and lay underneath the tree for an hour or so. I would turn on the lights on the tree and feel the soft white sheet we placed underneath it. The smell of the tree, the twinkle of the lights and the excitement of things to come were only a part of why I loved doing this. Some wiser aspect of me knew I would only be a child for a short time and I wanted to fully allow myself to feel every moment of it. I was safe and loved in a family and I knew I was blessed. I sensed that I had lived other lives in different families, times, and places that were not as wonderful when it came to my experiences in this family. I also knew that there were people all over the world that did not get to experience many of the things I was so blessed to have. I had friends who would have killed for what I had. So I savored those moments underneath the colorful lights of our Christmas trees. I allowed myself to be happy and I completely immersed myself into childhood and the magic of Christmas. So much for silly Santa stories and fairy tales, the real thing was so much better.
Jim Ventura 10-2011
Editors note:

I wrote this Christmas story almost three years ago and thought it was time to re-run it. A lot of new readers have been added to my mailing list in the last few years, so many of you have never read this piece. I really do enjoy the month of December. Here in Phoenix the weather is often perfect. It is typically lows seventies during the daytime and forties to low fifties at night. I especially love getting to wear some winter clothes for a few months-just a few months though! I allow myself to eat a bit more excessively than I normally do the rest of the year in December. Aside from the Christmas Eve lasagna that I make every year, and I make extra and eat it until New Years, I definitely allow myself extra cake candies and cookies in December. Putting on a few extra pounds (usually about 3-5) is worth it to me, and I am always eager to eat healthy again every January and drop the added weight! I have lost my interest in decorating the house and getting a Christmas tree. I haven’t done things like that in over a decade. I think if I had children, I would make a point to do more of these types of things though. I just enjoy the more decadent aspects (food!) of Christmas season, and that is enough for me!
 I always appreciate when my readers comment and offer insight on the different Snake Oil columns I run. While I may not always be able to answer right away (I have reached over 1000 subscribers), your thoughts and perspectives are appreciated. In the future, please make any comments about columns directly onto the Goggle page where they are posted as opposed to emailing me with your thoughts. Comments directly on my blog page in the long run will get me more hits on search engine sites and increase the amount of traffic to my site! 
I have a guest writer this month. Check out Michelle Lee’s article about the power (of the fear) of words. I will also be interviewing Michelle sometime next month on Snake Oil radio!
It is the holiday season, so take advantage of this months special and get a discounted gift certificate(s) for your friends and family as well as yourself. More information about this offer is in this newsletter. Wishing everyone a Happy Holiday Season and a Happy New Year! Cheers, Jim V


The Power (of the Fear) of Words  by Michelle Lee
Many of us are learning that our words have power. We are even beginning to be more conscious of the words we use and choose to focus on using positive words when speaking to and about others. We are blessed with such talented authors as Mike Dooley of “Thoughts Become Things”, because of his work and the work of many other authors and we are beginning to understand that we do indeed create our own reality. But has it gone too far? Have we relinquished our power to our words?

This past weekend I had the pleasure and honor of contributing as a speaker and teacher at a women’s retreat. I delivered my workshop about how ancient programming determines our self-worth, how this programming is only a story, and finally how to be free of the story and the associated emotions that go along with it.  As always, I teach the process of emotional freedom technique (EFT). For those of you that don’t know, when you use EFT, you focus on and speak out loud the undesired emotion, be it anger, sadness, fear, or whatever, while you tap on the meridians of your body. As an example, as you tap on each point you may say, “I feel angry”. I know this goes against the grain of all of the positive thinking lessons we have ever read or heard, but after more than 8 years working with clients with trauma, anxiety, depression, you name it, I’m very intimate with effectiveness of this process.

During this type of workshop, I teach the participants how to “tap together” for the benefit of themselves and the volunteer.  This is actually known in the EFT world as Borrowed Benefits.  Over the years, I have found this to be extremely powerful in a workshop setting. 
The hiccup came when a couple of the participants were literally too frightened to speak the words of the undesired emotion, fearing that it would be “tapped in” to them.  I was astonished at how strong this emotion was for a few of the participants.  If we would have had more time I would have loved to have lead them through an EFT session to release that fear, but we didn’t.  But this is why I wonder, “Have we placed too much power on words?” 

Abraham Hicks is only one author to state that positive thoughts are 100 times more powerful than negative ones.   We have to remember that we are the thinker doing the thinking and in order for a negative thought to become a negative emotion it must be repeated over and over and over again for days and months.  Unfortunately, many of us do this unconsciously.

EFT literally gives us dominion over our emotions. You must not fear the words that describe your emotions or the emotions themselves. The fear of our emotions and the fear of putting words to them is what causes us to become stuck in the ruts that we find ourselves in today. EFT is a powerful tool that gives us permission to not only acknowledge our emotions, but to also love, accept, and forgive ourselves for having them; this in itself is powerfully healing. You are bigger and more powerful than your words and your emotions put together. Yes our words have power, but only the power we give them. 

We are Divine creators created in the image of God. God would never fear a word or an emotion.  I spend many hours every week tapping with women on their emotions and issues, I say words that may or may not pertain to me and NEVER do I take on their emotions or “tap in” to me their issues. I am literally invigorated after each session. The greatest gift I can offer my clients is to see them as the pure Divine creation that they are, even though they are wrapped up in their story.  I can have empathy for them as they feel stuck, but I never allow myself to believe their story.  It’s just a story and I am available and capable to lead them out of it.

“There is nothing to fear, but fear itself.”  …and we can tap on that! 

Bio:
Michelle Lee, CH is the founder and owner of Athena Rising Now.  A program dedicated to freeing teen girls, their mothers, and all women from ancient cultural programming to become the leaders they were born to be.  As an intuitive, certified hypnotherapist, emotional freedom technique (EFT) practitioner, author and mother,  Michelle has more than 12 years experience working with women, helping them to discover and release their subconscious agendas so that they may fully express their highest potential.  Michelle is the author of “Women: From Power to Profit: Your Guide to Claiming YOUR Worth” and of “Fall in Love…with your Self” hypnotic journey CD.  You can discover more about Michelle’s programs, services, and products at www.AthenaRisingNow.com.

Gift certificates:

The holidays are approaching. Give a gift to someone you love that they will really appreciate: a reading/personal session with Jim Ventura. All gift certificates purchased from now until December 31 st, will be at a discounted rate for all of the clients who are currently on my mailing list (receiving Snake Oil or following me on FaceBook) 
Special rate:
$15.00 off my current listed prices for both 45 and 70 minute sessions. If you purchase 2 gift certificates they are each $20 off my listed prices. If you purchase 3 or more, you get $25 off the purchase of each gift certificate! 

Price list for services are at the end of this newsletter and on my website. The gift certificates are good for one full year and can be used any time in December 2013 and all of 2014. I will either mail them to you or, if you prefer, mail them directly to the people who you want to receive them (snail mail or email). You may want to buy a gift certificate(s) for yourself as well - do you know anyone else who deserves a gift as much as you do? Sessions can be in person or by phone for out-of-area clients.

You can also add a copy of my first book or audio DVD version of Dirty Little Secrets, or Snake Oil Volume One for an extra $12.00, including tax. ($3.00 shipping charge is waived for the month of December!) If you want to sweeten the package. 


Order both books and shipping is also free! ($24.00 total for a copy of each) Email or call to purchase your Gift Certificates. This discount offer is good until December 31st of 2014. 

*If anyone in your family has recently had a new addition (child) a 45 minute Astrology chart interpretation (session is recorded on audio cassette tape - I will be able to do digital versions in the spring of 2014 as well) is also a great gift idea. I often get letters from people telling me how useful and “right-on” the chart interpretation I did for their son/daughter 10 years ago was. 

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." --Eleanor Roosevelt
Snake Oil Radio

Thursdays at 3:30 pm (there will be three live broadcasts this month)
My next live broadcast of Snake Oil Radio will be Thursday, December 5th, at 3:30 p.m. (MST -AZ doesn’t use daylight savings time). Almost every Thursday you can catch a new show. Each 45 minute show will expand on my current column’s subject matter. It will also offer an opportunity for you to call in live (or chat with other listeners in the chat room) with comments and your thoughts about the topic of discussion. Halfway through some of the shows you can even ask me for a free 5 minute mini reading with your personal question. If you miss the live show, you can catch any of my previously recorded shows on the web site’s archive. You can also catch Snake Oil Radio on I-tunes (download my pod-casts there)
To hear a live show, all you need to do is be at a computer and tuned into: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Jim-Ventura  You may also access it by going to blogtalkradio.com. Type “Snake Oil” into the search option.
You can also go to the shows that are currently “On air” at that time and find me. The call in number is 646-200-3966 for questions and comments.
Alexander on Relationships:
“All too often you see people clinging to relationships that have served their purpose and can only lead to stasis or, worse, harm to the individuals involved if they try to pretend that what once existed still exists. It is the great fallacy of your plane (well, one of many) that a romantic love relationship must last forever-till death do us part-or that somehow those involved have failed if it does not.
Nothing could be further from the truth, or sillier. Life is not meant as a straight-jacket, where you are strapped into a given set of relationships at an early age, never to freely explore the bounty of human relationships with freedom again. It may well be that the intent behind a relationship is so strong, the opportunities for mutual growth and learning so great, that a marriage can last a lifetime. But it is unnatural to expect all such relationships to endure until death. It is a violation of the great flow and flux of your being to consider that all romantic relationships must last forever or be considered failures.
You live many lifetimes within a given human span of years. Are you the same person you were at three weeks? At ten years? Do you expect to be the same person at 80? We hope not. The energy that powers your life is a vast swirl, a constant dance, its overriding characteristic being randomness evidenced in the electron’s spin. You construct infinite grids of intent to experience over the span of your life, some lasting its length, most not. Every relationship has a given ‘span’ after which it can serve no benefit to maintain...” Ramon Stevens from Whatever happened To Divine Grace.

Here’s my contact information to make an appointment for a session, or information on current classes: Phone: (602) 957-3035 text: 602-349-0746 Email: Venturasag@yahoo.com 
Information about the different sessions and types of readings and services, past Snake Oil columns, and how to order my books and audio CD’s can be found at my website: Http://JimVentura.com 
“Friend” me on Facebook to get other extra offers and in between column extras! Signing up for my fan page will get you even more extras and first shot at reading specials. Simply click on “like” on the fan page and you will automatically get my weekly updates. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jim-Ventura/110567902293371

All sessions/readings for 2013 are: Full (70 minutes) $110.00; Shorter session (45 minutes) $80.00;  Extended session (90 minutes) $130.00 (two people can split an extended session back to back for $65.00 each).  Email me for information about my Regular Client Program for even bigger discounts on session prices with the added benefit of monthly or quarterly check-ins.